I have always struggled with my weight. Big-boned. Plus-size. Thick. Curvy. Voluptuous. Padded. Pick your adjective. Over the years I learned to deal with it in different ways. I learned to ignore it. Compensate for it. Deny it. Dress it up. Cover it over. Like everyone who struggles with something physical, I wear my battle on the outside for the world to see. There’s no running from it, because there is no hiding it. Funny thing about wearing your struggle on the outside: it makes you stronger. It teaches you how to adapt. It forces you to dig deep and do more I have been on the heavier side since I was 7 or 8 years old.When I was 2 or 3 I had several major surgeries which I lost a lot of muscle tissue in my stomach area.( not blaming that in weight gain but it didn't help). School was hard for me not academically but socially. I was teased , bullied , made fun of all the times because I was bigger than Any of the other kids. That teasing started in elementary school and carried in through high school! I remember in 8th grade going on a class field trip, we were camping and doing a ropes course. I was so afraid of not fitting in a harness for the ropes course that I pretended I was sick, I thought I would save my self the embarrassment this way. I still have all my school yearbooks that the kids who did sign it addressed me as Shamu, Miss Piggy, whale and so many other cruel names! After high school the teasing seemed to stop, but I still felt alone. I never felt pretty I never thought positive about myself I had a good group of friends but I was always the "bigger" friend. I was always the third wheel while everyone was dating or had relationships I didn't.
Fast forward to 2006 when I met my husband! He was very athletic in shape and here was me this 300lb girl who was confused to as why this guy was interested in me. He liked me for me not how I looked. His friends didn't quite feel the same way, they couldn't handle their friend being with a "fat girl". The situation with his friends opened my eyes up to a whole new world , I had this amazing man standing by my side no matter and it made me realize I was worth it. I started working out we were eating healthy ,both had decent jobs and life was good. We were together about year when we got engaged , I had just lost about 60 pounds, for the first time in my life I felt good.
2007- Wedding plans were under way , and we were planning our future! We had a very big surprise that changed everything!!! I was pregnant with our first son! It was so nerve-wracking and exciting all at the same time. I remember panicking omg I'm pregnant I just lost this weight and now I'll gain it back! I was determined to have a healthy active pregnancy and not gain 60 pounds! So I walked every day , drank my water and ate pretty healthy for being pregnant. I didn't gain any weight during my first pregnancy (was normal because I was still heavy to begin with) Oliver was born September 2008 healthy and no issues. Life with a baby was exciting , fun, new and overwhelming. I stayed home and my husband worked. I stayed active and in target with my healthy habits. Our world was in for change come January 2011 , my husbands work was slowing down and at that time in California the job market was terrible. We made the hardest decision and that was to leave California and head to Indiana (where Craig is from) for a new beginning and more opportunity.
I never realized how hard it would be for me to move away from my family , friends and everything I knew to a place where I knew nobody and had to start all over! To add to the chaos we found I was pregnant with our second son Hunter two months after moving. So here I am in a new place no friends or family pregnant and already have a 2 1/2 year old. Indiana weather isn't desirable lol literally our first week in the state there was like 2 inches of ice on the ground! I didn't do anything or go anywhere I was used to sunshine and rainbows.
This pregnancy was hard on me I gained so much weight wasn't active and very depressed. I was thrilled about adding to our family but the thought of not having my mom by my side took a toll on me. January 28,2012 I gave birth to Hunter he was perfect healthy and happy! However I was suffering depression bad I wasn't happy with my life or myself but I found every excuse under the moon to blame something or someone else. I was so embarrassed by the way I looked I didn't even take family newborn photos to this day I regret that. Months went on my eating habits didn't change I was nursing a baby constantly I didn't ever want to leave the house. We signed Oliver up for soccer , in hopes of him making new friends which he did. Bella was his first friend in Indiana and that's how I met Mandy an important piece to my journey. Every week we had soccer I would chat with Mandy while the kids played soccer , she is a mommy of two girls , a wife , a stay at home mom, a photographer and fitness guru! I seriously admired her for being in shape with two kids and a husband that traveled often for work. I kept thinking to myself how in the world does she do it? How does she keep it all together and make time for herself????
Enter 2014 I had enough of feeling miserable I was tired of feeling depressed and wanted so badly to do something to try to lose weight. Mandy had posted on Facebook for a few months about the 21 day fix and how people were loosing weighty working out at home! I thought to myself ha ha ya right no way can this work. I remember the post exactly that gave me the courage to ask about it, she had posted a photo of herself heavy I was floored! No way did I ever think this girl who is in tip top shape and a fitness instructor could have been heavy. Right then I felt like I had to try something might as well do it with someone who knows the struggle right?!! So I ordered the 21 day fix and Shakeology. For those of you that don't know what the 21 day fix is here.
I remember thinking to myself if this doesn't work it's ok at least I tried. My first week into the program I was sore and it took everything I had in me to do it but I lost 8lbs in the first week. I knew then that if I stuck with this program no matter how hard it got I could be successful. At the end of the first 21 days I had lost 18 lbs I was so excited!!! I felt good and for the first time since moving to Indiana I was starting to feel happy. I made the decision at that point to keep going with the program and set goals to try to reach! My first big goal was to lose 100 lbs but I didn't set any kind of deadline , I just knew that was an amount of weight that I wanted to lose. I decided to sign up as a coach knowing this would be extra accountability for my self. As the months went on I became confident, stronger , and when I looked in the mirror I didn't cringe I looked at my body with all it's imperfections and said your pretty amazing!!
I was changing from the inside out, I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. I started attending live classes a few times a week, still doing my home workouts and drinking my Shakeology. I stayed consistent and used the support from my family and friends to keep me going There was a day my husband was on the computer going through old pictures. He pulled up one of me at my heaviest, my 6-year-old looked at it and said mom who is that? I knew right then that I made the right choice to make myself a priority and make time for me. I was leading a healthy life and being a positive example for my kids there is no greater feeling knowing you're doing the right thing.
February 2014 I started the 21 day fix extreme, thinking it would be a good switch for my body and to help me break the plateau I had hit. Two weeks into the program I noticed my clothes getting looser but was not ready to get on the scale ( I try not to weigh often instead focus on how I feel and my clothes fit). I remember one morning I decided to get on the scale I'll never forget the feeling i felt as I stared at the numbers!! I had reached my goal of 100lbs I was actually at 102lbs loss! I couldn't believe it I felt so proud, i did it I reached my first goal in less than a year all the sweat and hard work was paying off!
I follow the 21 day fix nutrition ,drink my Shakeology , and make sure to do my workout or some activity daily. Do I get treats? Yes but I don't over indulge and I don't crave them like I used to! I'm human we make mistakes but I have learned to not let them derail me from my goals. I would like to lose another 50lbs no deadline just another go I would like to achieve. Do you have goals? I would love to hear from you and help you achieve them!